Love me deeply.
My one liner summing up money is this: money is love.
::shudder:: ::gasp::
Yeah, I said it. And I believe it.
The truest essence of money is that it is the expression of love between two parties.
When I go out and spend my money at a local restaurant, this is an expression of appreciation and gratitude. For the food they prepare, they time they spend, and the service and ambiance they provide while I'm in their four walls.
By giving my dollars to any establishment I’m literally saying, “I love you and the service you provide. I respect and appreciate your efforts.”
Likewise, when I pour my heart into the world, though teaching, consulting, coaching or helping in general, it’s rewarded with money by those who appreciate its value.
Money is what we ask for in exchange for our time and energy.
And it is my practice, to keep that attitude both when I’m giving and receiving currency.
As means of trade, it’s worthless if I stock it up in a bank. It has all the potential, but is just sitting on the shelf. And beyond saving enough for my rainiest day, it’s foolish to hold it hostage. It creates less love to go around for all. It’s hoarding love, and that doesn’t do anything but keep me all backed up. Money is not physical security.
The earth I walk on is my physical security.
Yet, we’ve turned the acquisition of money into a sport, and trust I was just as caught up in this game.
I remember getting a call for a new position just before I left my last job. When she told me the salary would be $30,000 a year, I replied, “sorry, there’s just no way.” I was making well over double that at the time.
The thing is, I truly believed there was no way I could live on $30,000 a year.
And certainly, with my lifestyle, there wasn’t. With $7 to $15 lunches once or twice a week, nice and frequent trips to buying clothing, accessories and shoes, travel to see loved ones at any life milestone or event, yes, this would have been impossible to maintain.
But I didn’t have a car payment.
I didn’t have debt. Or cable.
I lived in an affordable city.
The truth is, had I not been trying to fill my internal voids with external things, $30K would have been enough to live a good, comfortable life.
But I had no concept of that. I truly had no concept of a dollar. Not because I wasn’t taught the value of it, but because I was making so much and I was so unhappy internally I thought, “well, if this is supposed to make me happy, then let’s spend more and more, and acquire yet more.”
I’m gonna feel happy at some point right?
“More leggings!”
It’s gonna feel good the next time, yeah?
“And those pairs of heels!"
"And that shirt I’ll never wear. And that dress I’ll give away with the tags still on it. This will be perfect for that outfit I’ll wear once, because after the pictures no one can see me in it again.”
All of this was subconscious.
The only repercussion being the space I didn’t have to hold all the stuff I did have. Oh yeah, and all the money I spent that I wish I had saved instead.
And the frustration I’d feel with myself when I’d get my bank statements, or realize I’d never wear that item and the return window had passed.
It wasn’t until I stopped making cash, froze and bled it out slowly, like an unattended superficial wound…
And came to zero...
And then a little negative…
And then a lot more negative…
And then had to ask for help from family...
that I finally understood the value of money in my life.
Money is not oxygen.
It’s totally unnecessary, yet our entire society depends on it, making it very necessary.
It’s a complete paradox, and that’s usually when I know I’ve landed on truth.
And so, after much processing of this confusing contradiction, I’ve come to understand that if I continue to practice the mindsets that one,
I’m safe and fully sustained by the planet I live on
and two,
money is a direct reflection of the love that I put into my world, through useful products, services and ideas
then truly,
it’s a beautiful measure to go by.
Until the next time, all my love,
Nat